announcing band member #6 (a.k.a. another adoption)

http://justmypov.wordpress.com/

The blog comes to an end

Many of you have followed us through our last year and our two adoptions. At this moment one year ago today, I was sleeping in a guest house in Ethiopia. I would wake up in the morning and we would go to get Tamene. And he would be with us forever, from that day forward.



The girls have been home almost two months, and the weather outside reminds me of how far Tamene has come in that last year. I sigh to know a year from now there will be a special connection that we will have watched develop in the first year the girls are here.



Our journey to Ghana changed me. I have been called to take on new endeavors. More of that will be to come in the next few weeks and months, much of it relating to Ghana.



For now I will sign off from this blog. It will stay here a while longer in case I have more to say. But I will move back to updates on my family blog, and as Project Global Hope develops I will post more about how to find out about our work.



About 8 months ago I "saw her face" for the first time. And now When I see her face I know the love from the first moment was real love. "Her" is both of my girls. Her is the spirit of this adoption. I love the girls and I love Ghana. By the time Tamene was home 3 months we knew we would adopt again. Here we are, the girls home two months... we aren't ready to do a traditional adoption, but we met some people in Ghana that have become part of our family. We feel that we have a lot of work today in providing for the needs of our new Ghana family. So we'll continue on with our Journeys hoping to impact the lives of more orphans and other adoption journeys.



This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Winston Churchill

Hair, hair, hair

Angelisa and Tirzah have enough hair for an entire village of children. Angelisa has some of the thickest "straight" hair you will ever see and Tirzah has some of the thickest "textured" hair you will ever see.



Trust me when I tell you that the fine folks at Super Clips for Cheap can NOT cut these girls hair. And trust me when I tell you that the fine folks and Million Dollar Do's are making a killing off these kids hair. Don't get me wrong, I recognize their time is valuable and they should be paid appropriately... but... I am totally in support of letting the girls grow their hair as long as they want, this should result in less hair cuts and reduced costs.

That's my random thought for the day.

I am not who I was... or did I find who I am?

A post of totally random thoughts, some are mine, some are from other people.

No rhyme, no reason, no story. Just stuff.


“God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”
Reggie White

Don't pray for lighter burdens, but for stronger backs.


“If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.”
A man in church told me this proverb of sorts. He's wise. I am glad for his words.


Now this next quote makes me want to do an end zone dance...
Endurance is patience concentrated.
Thomas Carlyle

I believe God's worked with me a lot on patience. I always thought I wasn't very good at it, come to find out, I just have a highly concentrated amount of it. (oh yes I do!)


Heroism is endurance for one moment more.
George F. Kennan

I have looked back at my earliest blog posts http://www.beforeiknewyou.blogspot.com/
I go to them every now and again... mostly because I expect to read something new. As if someone is writing it still. Some days I wonder if I know the person who wrote that blog. Am I that person? Indeed I am. It was me before I realized the world was a lot bigger and a lot smaller than I thought it was.

If there is a statement or saying that I really hate hearing, it's the statement "You don't know what you don't know". I hate the statement. It's stupid and true at the same time. It instills anger and fear at the same time as irritation and bother. I want to know everything. And I hate that I know some of the things I do. I want to see the world through rose colored glasses some days, but I hate that I would be allowed to escape thinking about, what some people live. I live a good life, and I want to pretend everyone else has the privileges I do. But I know that pretending, or ignoring won't change anything. So I can't pretend or ignore.

I'm a mother. I AM a mother. I am A mother. I am a MOTHER. Tonight I tucked Angelisa and Tirzah in. They hugged me, they kissed me and they said night time prayers with me. Then they hugged me and kissed me again. They are my babies! I held Eden until she fell asleep in my arms tonight. And Tamene came to give me a good night kiss and informed he was the baby and wanted to be held. Naven wanted to sleep with me tonight, so I did the usual "Every one will sleep in their own bed tonight". And a hug and a kiss and off my baby went to bed.

This week I am trying to figure out how to explain Eden's age. She says she's 5 her birth certificate says she's 4. Trust me, she is 5. I don't want to explain it. Just trust me, I'm the mother and it doesn't matter how old she is. Everything is fine. And then I had to explain to a 3rd grade student that I am in fact the mother of Tirzah and Eden. Frankly based on the populations in the surrounding areas I don't understand why this child would question me, but she told me straight out I was not their mother. Tirzah and I decided next time this happens, we both say we are mother and daughter and walk away. They don't get any more info. I suspect Tirzah will be the kind of kid who makes up crazy answers when people ask ignorant questions. Not that the 3rd grader was being ignorant... just that Tirzah was pretty thoughtful about it and seemed less than impressed with the child's willingness to believe I was her mother.

Project Global Hope is in progress. I'll keep you all posted on the endeavor into the start up of a non-profit organization. I have known for many years that I would start a non-profit. I've just been waiting for God to say when.

I post a lot on facebook, so sometimes my blog misses day-to-day life. In the 7 days prior to yesterday, I was in the ER three times with the kids. Tirzah had a flu, but included ear pain, so we went to have it checked. Naven got frog in his eye... or frog juice... call it what you want, but he played with a frog and then touched his eyes and then started screaming in pain. Then Tirzah got her hand caught in the car door. I would say none of these trips REQUIRED a trip to the ER. But with Tirzah I worry that there is a language barrier enough to make something go haywire and I just want to protect her. For Naven, a little experience in natural consequences...pain from frog juice, then a horribly long and boring wait in the ER (the nurse tried to offer a movie, I politely declined on behalf of the child who should have left the frog alone), his experience was topped of with an less than friendly eye wash. Either he'll leave the frogs alone or he will wash his hands next time - or not...

I am still trying to help the orphans in Ghana. Thanks to a few more donations we have the oldest child in the house ready to go to school and paid for the first term. I'll be starting up a couple of fundraisers soon, so I hope to make the rest of the money. Once that is taken care of I can start helping to raise money so they can start supporting themselves through some small businesses/farming. For $50 USD you can send a Jr High student to school for one term, for $5 you can make a huge difference! Just $5 can help!. Food is the primary need, but if we don't help the children get educated, things will never change. If you want to help the orphans, or Project Global Hope, please contact me.

It's my bed time, or past it. Tomorrow is another day! Wooo hooo!

Tuesday night

It's Tuesday night.

It just is.

Nothing about my day was normal... which in itself actually makes it a normal day. It's some kind of irony thing is happening with what's normal in my life and what's not. Normal is the average of the extremes though right? So the question is what sort of extreme will I encounter in any given day.

The girls haven't been here a full two months yet. So we are still adjusting. I suppose my adjustment is nothing compared to what the girls are experiencing. Each one of us is learning a whole new way.

So I've been in the ER with the kids three times in 7 days... flu-type symptoms, frog attack, and van door attack. My mom has documented the address of the ER in case she needs to reach me.

Did I mention it is Tuesday? Frankly it seems to be all I know. It's Tuesday and the Schwan's man comes on Tuesdays.

I am going to bed. Tomorrow is Wednesday.

New endeavors

A small group of friends and family are working with me to set up a non-profit that will center itself in helping orphans and missions.

I will have much more detail on this soon. For now, I have set up a blog to kick off what we are calling "Project Global Hope". Soon this will be a registered non-profit. In the mean time, the needs exist and I will be using it to post updates about the situation with the orphanage in Ghana that you all have been reading about.

If you have a moment to visit the blog, you will see a list of needs from John at the orphanage. If you are interested in helping please contact me:

http://projectglobalhope.blogspot.com/

Real life in America

Tonight the tooth-fairy will visit the Peterson House.

An interesting phenomenon at our house... three teeth out from three children. Oddly the tooth fairy was not appropriately summonsed. Tooth under pillow required. So two teeth fell out earlier in the week. But all three teeth will finally make it to that magical place until the pillow tonight... then the tiny girl with wings will come and leave money.

I'll let you know how that all works out.

Peterson Band

The boys! Having fun at the park.

Naven and Eden, playing in the water.

They started out dry and ended up soaked!

Super-models?

Thumbs up! We are having fun.

Who loves momma?

My babies!

The Peterson Band!

If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it

Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing”
Aristotle

From my last post:
Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

A comment on post:
I have been visiting often now, and I must say - that quotation got to me. We are readying ourselves to take this journey God has put before us and the thoughts of how to deal with those who tell us that we are wrong... that bothers me the most right now. Thanks for the thoughts!

More thoughts:
I have heard this kind of story more than once lately. The story of a person or a family, trying to do the right thing, feeling lead by God, but the critics decide to voice their opinion. I do think that people are doing this "voicing" because they want to help, but clearly they don't understand the impact of their words. They want to protect me, protect the do-er. But in the process they are losing sight of the needs of those I am trying to help. There are many of you who want to help, who feel lead to help... indeed there is always a critic. Give the critic respect, but you don't have to take their advice. If you are directed by a higher power, by The Higher Power, then a critic is only a critic. It's not their mission, it's not their calling. When the critic comes, you can ask them to pray. Ask them what God would tell them about the situation.


I wanted to throw a couple of verses out. They are random and out of context... I am open to hearing why these verses don't mean what I think. But here are some words I felt lead to :

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
So, help me understand. Is it even possible to be out of God's will in wanting to care for an orphan, a fatherless child? "Pure and faultless," is looking after orphans and widows... I think that means that caring for orphans is not only good, but required... but that's just me. You decide for yourself.

Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.' Zechariah 7:10
Is the critic oppressing the fatherless when the critic points you away from caring for an orphan. Is the critic going against this verse? It says we should NOT oppress the fatherless or the widow, should I hinder the work of someone who would care for these?


And say before the Lord your God, I have taken all the holy things out of my house and have given them to the Levite, and the man from a strange land, and him who has no father, and the widow, as you have given me orders: I have kept in mind all your orders, in nothing have I gone against them: Deuteronomy 26:13
Interesting, it appears to me God says even what is set aside for Him should be give to the orphan. - see the next verse.

When you have finished setting aside a tenth of all your produce in the third year, the year of the tithe, you shall give it to the Levite, the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that they may eat in your towns and be satisfied. Deuteronomy 26:12

"When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow. Deuteronomy 24:21
Should the first of what is set aside for God and the last what we have belong to the orphan? I think these verses tell me, some of the first fruits and some of my last fruits do belong to the orphan.


I would ask you to challenge yourself to ask, is caring for this orphan what I want to do for me, and will God bless that (I think he will), or am I carrying out God's command and honoring what has been asked of me. Then you will be able to respond to your critic.


“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt

It stuck with me

I often come across quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson that make me think,or that I somehow find myself relating to. The other day I posted a couple of his quotes on facebook. I've gone back to this quote a couple times. I posted the quote and then my own comment below:

Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I wonder if Mr. Emerson walked the talk. I don't know much about him. But I often see a lot inside of his quotes.

Courage. An interesting word. dictionary.com says : the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. Courage is to do it without fear? I guess if I don't have fear then it doesn't seem very courageous... so to me it is to do it in SPITE of fear or doubt.

Sometimes other people doubt me, sometimes I doubt myself. But I know all things are possible...all things.

Citizen

Here is a quote... in my mind, it really doesn't have anything to do with adoption, or our girls. Though to an outsider it might appear that way. Rather to me it is about being a good citizen:

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ghana Orphanage

Thanks to all those who have been praying for or have donated money to the orphanage in Ghana.

The money was sent today. I will keep you posted.

Edit:
To clarify: A small amount of money was sent immediately at the time the need was identified. Once I received the donations from those of you who were willing, I sent a lump sum to avoid additional transfer/wire fees.

Check out this blog

http://marlakarla.blogspot.com/

5 loaves

So I think it would be accurate to say that I am the kind of person who likes to keep busy, have lots of activities going on, and I like to help and solve problems. The problem can be trivia, trivial, or more serious. I don't usually see barriers or obstacles... if there is a problem, then there is a solution and I will find it. That's just my personality.

When we were leaving for Ghana on our second trip, I was made aware of a man running an orphanage who was in need. So I decided to contact him and find out more. The problem with some problems, is that they are not so easy to solve, and it's more than just the challenge of problem solving, but actual lives are involved. I met a man I call Brother John. Brother John has an orphanage with 26 children. When I met him, they had been kicked out of their current living quarters and were sleeping in a hallway. First, let me explain that "kicked out" was due to an inability to pay one-two years ADVANCED lease for the place. I don't know many Americans who could pull that off in our economy, the likelihood of a young man caring for orphans is less likely to manage this kind of requirement in Ghana. And this is how it is in Ghana, you have to pay advanced rent... not just one or two months, but one or two years.

So, Brother John has no source of regular support. He lives with the children day by day hoping to bring in just enough to meet the needs of the children for living, education and food. So far it is litterally day by day.

Wednesday last week I received an email from Brother John indicating that the last of their money had been used to move into a place that would take them for the little money they had. On this day they were out of money, out of food, and out of clean water. And apparently I was the only person he was able to reach out to for help. The email was this:


Thank you very much and may the Lord bless you very well as only as He can.

Thank you very much for helping us in Christ's love.

I hope anything little even about 10$ could be a help for now because we ate only once today and the water we bought linked and finished as we realized it this morning but don't have peny on me to buy some.

We are praying as we have not started church services in this house where we may could generate some ongoing funds from.

Thank you very much and keep us in your prayers as well. And untill we talk again, have a blessed day.

Yours Servant,

John

I met Brother John, I have seen the children he is caring for. I know the place he is staying. I have all the documents that prove he is a legitimate organization. He keeps records of their finances and has shared this with me. I know it is hard for Americans to understand how someone could be in charge of so many children with no actual source of support or income. But because Brother John speaks in churches to earn a very small amount and has been able to meet the daily needs of the children, there are families who cannot meet the daily needs and will make arrangements for John to care for their children. In some cases the children are completely orphaned with no one to take care of them, or with one parent who is unable to care for them due to illness or circumstances out of their control. So in America we cannot imagine a situation like this, but in Ghana it can happen, it does happen.

During a trip to a village in Ghana I watched a mother try to give her child to someone who she believed could provide food and medical care. The person to whom the mother was trying to give the child, also had very, very little and could barely care for her own family. "Poor" is a very relative term.

So Brother John, is a God-fearing man who has provided for these children and met basic needs and is managing to provide an education. Of course people trust him with their children, what else can you do? And now as I am going about my very American daily life, there is pause. Pause: there are hungry children gonig to bed at night, children that are asking for help from ME... not an advertisement on TV, not a magazine ad. No, real kids, in a real situation, and in at least one case I was the only one who could provide help. It makes life just a little more complex than I would have ever expected.

Thanks to the support of a few friends with a few dollars we were able to get Brother John some money. Three of us gathered $75 to send to Brother John. $25 each... that's all. $25. Sometimes I feel like I am not helping if I can't offer more. I wonder what will $25 dollars do? How can $25 help? But for the last 3 days these children have eaten enough to be satisfied at each meal. I don't know how long $75 will last for 26 children in Ghana (not to mention the adults who sacrifice with them), but I know a story about 5 loaves and 5 fishes, and I pray the money will find a way to meet their needs until another way comes.

Where is the time going?

A whole week has passed since my last blog... I can tell you that it is certainly NOT due to lack of things to write about.

Week two of school was completed. And that was successful. There was a dental appointment and that went better than expected (not the results, just the willingness to participate). We have all been learning a lot more about each other. This is week three home for the children. I took note that week three was the hardest for me in Ghana. I would say week three started out rough here, but I would say we ended very well.

The girls have been telling us so much about their life in Ghana. We have learned so much about their birth family and their days at the orphanage. It's wonderful that the girls have been so willing to share about the fun things and the not-so-fun.

Friday I went to the school and did a little presentation about African Instruments (Ghana and Ethiopia). I think the instrument piece went well, but some how the children came around to asking about how the girls came here and adoption, and that part I wasn't prepared for. Not to mention that a little boy started sharing his very difficult story about why he was adopted. I promised to the teacher I would brush up on my adoption answers before a return to the classroom :-) - Just as a tip to other adoptive parents: watch out for 2nd graders, they are savvy enough to ask very in depth questions, and too young to filter it... you could be asked ANYTHING :-)

Friday night the girls meet more relatives. Last night we had a gathering of several adoptive families that we know. It's great to share with those who have and are experiencing similar situations.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Me: What do you want for dinner
Eden: Fried rice, chicken and Jesus white.
*at our house Jesus white is now the common term for vanilla ice cream - I am sure it is not taking the name of the Lord in vain because we are talking about a yummy treat like ice cream.

Me: You should go to bed.
Eden: It makes me scared-a-fied

Trent: Change into your sleeping clothes
Eden: You turn your head (I think this one is only cute in real life with her little accent)

Me: How can you be hungry again???
Eden: Mommy, I want be-yed
Me: What is be-yed?
Eden: be-yed,be-yed, be-yed. I want be-yed.
Me: (wondering why I can understand every word in the sentence EXCEPT the important one)
Eden: Muuuuummmheee, I want be-yed
Me: Bread?
Eden: Yes be-yed.

And for those of you who have been following our story, you know that Eden's common statement in Ghana was "Mommy, don' kiss me" and now I'd like to announce that it is "Mommy kiss me!" HA!

Week 3

Transitions can be so hard. I loved my time in Ghana. It was a wonderful experience but I sooooo wanted to be home. Home was the US and Minnesota, and my house and my bed. American food, American laws, American culture... any of it would have made me feel home. More than anything I missed Trent and the kids, but I think that is obvious that you miss family.

So now my girls are here... we are heading into week 3. And I remember week 3 in Ghana. I was alone, no Angelisa and Carmin, no Trent. Just me and the girls. It was hard. I can't say I had joy about it during that week. I was glad to be there with my girls and all the other things that were going on, it was a blessing I was there that week. Anyway, I think of my girls going in their "week 3", I wonder how much they miss Ghana. I wonder how much they would love to smell Ghana and hear Ghana, and taste Ghana. I wonder how much they long to hear their native language or hear someone call out to them with a familiar voice.

Things are going well here. We are going through a transition with lots of ups and downs. A good balance of both the ups and the downs. No unwanted or unexpected suprises... a few good ones, involving suprise hugs or kisses, or some other amazing thing children come up with. Both those who have lived here more than three weeks and those who have lived here less, all very amazing. They all have suprised us with their patience and reslience, while still reminding us they are children each with their own set of needs to be met.

So I think on Week 3 in Ghana to remind me that the girls likely don't feel that they are "home". Likely an unmet need or misunderstood request feels very lonely. I have to say I am a little broken hearted tonight, I miss Ghana for them. Of course I too miss Ghana, but I miss Ghana from the comfort of my familiar home and food. It's not the same.

Tomorrow is Sunday. The girls look forward to church and I am speaking briefly about our adoption in the service. The sermon is about "Ask, Seek, Knock"... that particular process is a God given gift, no so much a challenge for me. I can "ask, seek, and knock" all day... but God has also challenged me to learn patience, we still have a long way to go in that arena!

I hear an announcement from the other room that it is bed time (it's actually WAY passed bedtime, but that's another story)... I must go~!

A day in the life...

So for now we are working to develop a "normal" pattern in our house. By all means, I am not saying normal, as in average... just finding our own normal... our own routine.

Trent's been doing the wash. Just looking at the mound make my head spin.

I bought a HUGE pile of uniforms for the kids for school. I totally thought I was going overboard... but nope... I didn't have enough. I bought a couple more items today.

So the morning routine is going well. The kids are pretty independent and can accomplish most of the morning tasks on their own. Rounding them up to get them in the mini-van gives a whole new meaning to the saying "hearding cats"...

School is going fine. We have a little switch-a-roo tomorrow to move from afternoon kindergarten to morning, which works out well for all of us. And the girls' teachers are asking for some language tips. So tomorrow I will go hang out at the school for a while.

After school I get into a long line of mini-vans and wait for all the smiling faces to arrive at my van. The teacher directing traffic knows I pick up a whole band of children. Not soodd, since there are many car-poolers, but still we stand out just a little.

Tonight we got home and I told the kids to get ready to go swimming. While they were preparing, I cut Tamene's hair. Do you know he screamed at the TOP of his lungs the ENTIRE time I cut his hair... and then told Trent he didn't cry. All the other kids told Trent he DID cry!

After the haircut and swimming apparel were settled, I made dinner. And as I type I realize I failed to feed myself, but I am going to claim success for the day if that was the only thing I forgot to do - don't worry, I'll make myself something now.

A fun night of swimming. Tirzah tried out the big water slide. She said she liked it, but she also did not go down a second time. I was soooo proud of her for trying!

We made friends with another adoptive family with five children. When she found out the girls have only been home a week, she asked me if anyone had called me crazy yet. HA! Yet???? Who HASN'T said it. Even my brother took a quiet moment to offer support of my ways, but still making it clear he thought I was insane (he doesn't have any kids yet).

So bed time. That routine continues to take a little work. But all children were sleeping by 9:45 most before 9... so again, I am going to claim success.

Tomorrow, a visit to the school and all three of the girls will go to the doctor.

Friday is picture day at school (what???? you know if I buy pictures I would have to take out a loan).

Saturday we will be at a picnic with some of Trent's friends.

Sunday I speak at church. I am going to offer a few words about our adoption as it relates to an Ask, Seek, Knock message. I'm trusting God to give me power and strength to keep my statement within the 4 minutes I have been allotted. You all know this will be a true miracle. But with God ALL things are possible, even keeping me to a 4 minute testimony :-)

Well off to eat and sleep!

International Issue

Apparrently the complication of night-time / bed-time for children is an international delimma.

Who sleeps where
who sleeps with mom
who sleep when
who sleeps how long...

just thinking about it makes me sleepy.

post #89 (that's all the creativity I have to offer tonight :-)

More updates.



Day one of school, complete and successful.

One morning and one night time routine complete and successful (okay, one kid is not in her own bed, but they are all sleeping).





Tomorrow, day two of school... I expect it will go as well as day one- but I won't be surprised if we get a whole new experience :-)



It is fun to watch the personality and dynamics of the sibling relationships as they are developing. Naven and Eden are about as cute as can be together. They really seem to click.

Everyone else is doing great too! Just that Eden and Naven make me laugh.



Today was my first "alone time" since the kids came home. Well, alone except we are puppy sitting, so the puppy took a nap with me. I indeed take take a very,very long nap.



Tomorrow is back to work!



Thanks again for every one's love, support and prayers!!



We are doing well.