What breaks the heart of God?

Today my children were in a play at our church. It was adorable. They were adorable. They both did so well. Naven not only did his part, but tried his best to encourage the child next to him to participate as well... he wasn't successful at getting her to participate, but he tried.

It was so beautiful to see all the children, working toward one goal. It was a big success...

I think I have mentioned before how we often pretend the girls are with us as we proceed through our days. Calling for all five children to wake up or to head to bed. Wondering what a drive-through experience will be like with seven people in the car. Today I watch the children moving around the stage, and for a moment I had a glimpse of the girls being there. The little one with her adorable smile, getting an extra laugh from the audience... the older one, her talent contributing to the success. Anyway, there they were, on the stage, for a just a moment. It was good to see them!

On a less dreamy note, a more reality based update. There are families coming and going from Ghana this weekend. We sent off more messages for the girls and we hope to see some new pictures soon. I am very excited to get some new information on how they are doing. These are my babies!

As life continues to be my teacher, and love continues to open my eyes... I have seen some new things. Or I have seen some of the same things in a new light. I was looking back in my journal and I found where I asked God that my heart would be broken for the things that break his heart. I have found that I have a much more sensitive heart in general. I believe that I see the sadness and joy of God's heart in many ways. I have this burning type of compassion for children. The funny part is that it is just a feeling. I am a very action oriented person, usually if something catches my eye then I need to run toward it. I am always running toward something. I love to have goals. I love to achieve things. I am equally happy being a leader or a willing servant. But for the children, just a heart for them. I am building love and compassion for every child. In the past you would have found me interested only in children who could demonstrate survival of the fittest. Only children who could hold their own. By the way, these were generally "naughty" children (and I say that in the most playful and respectful way). If the kids was loud and demanding, if the kid could convince another child to do it "his way", I was drawn to that child. I think some people are drawn to the shy child, the wallflower. Not me, I was drawn to wild and even out of control.

Okay, I'll admit it, I was bothered by those children who were meek and quiet. I thought they should "buck up". But now I feel total and complete love for every child. No matter what.

I am not sure why I am blogging about this. All I know is today, when I saw a glimpse of that dream of my girls performing on stage, I realized that they were all in my heart. All of those children. I am surprised that I don't feel the need to do some action based on my feelings. Well nothing new, and nothing right this second. I suppose to some people they would say I am doing something - I am adopting and growing my family. But to me that is different. That's "different', I don't know why or how.

My values and beliefs come with a certain set of "assumptions" that I consider realities.
One of those realities is that we only get one chance, we only get one life, we should make the most of it.
Not meaningless, running around like a chicken with your head "cut-off" , kind of life (I have a brief and disturbing childhood image related to butchering chickens, I don't know why I use this analogy). Anyway, one life, one chance to do it right. When I say "right" I don't mean without error. We all make mistakes. I mean, take action, do things. Change the world. Every day I look for ways to change the world in a big way and in those little ways that might just make some one's day better.

I also wonder if people who are afraid - those who are fearful of life or of being vulnerable... those who wonder if they are worthy... I wonder... what happens when they give. When they give to those less fortune and more vulnerable than themselves, what happens? It seems that it might bring relief. Is it possible then in my vulnerability that I could be healed by helping those more vulnerable than me? And I wonder what this means for those children that were/are meek and afraid.

So, in summary, a lot of random thoughts. I'll look forward to comments about my random thinking.