Am I in a groove or in a rut?

What it is about this blog that feels so hard to get in the groove?

It's feels different to be bringing home these girls as they are a little older and have had more experience with life than I might be able to anticipate. I love them already. I dearly love them. It's amazing the peace and comfort that comes to me when I look at their pictures.

There is something special about finding a loved one in a crowd. Not searching in loss or panic, just at a meet-up or a check-in at a crowded event. A whole sea of people, and the ability to gravitate to the person you are looking for. You really don't see anyone else. It's like my brain says, "nope, not that one, no, no, no, not that one either..." Then "check, that one, there he is!" There is the person I am looking for. It's a peace and a calm, "Oh good, I can stop searching now, I've found you." Then my body feels at ease. I guess I feel a little like that with this adoption. At some level searching through a sea of children, photos, descriptions, countries, agencies... no, nope, not that one... then yes. Yep, right there. And now I have just felt at peace.

I guess it might be important to explain that there are a variety of ways adoption can work. I have the example from Ethiopia where we completed our paperwork and then waited for the agency to "match" us with our child. With this Ghana adoption, we found these children waiting. They were already in care and the agency had not yet located a family for them. There are many reasons children wait, commonly age and health issues. Having a sibling group or large sibling group. Perceived health issues, perceived social issues... many things. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the child, just that the agencies do not have families waiting for that age, gender, sibling group. So we decided to take a look at those children who were already waiting. We thought we would still end up on the long, very long wait for children from Ethiopia. The current wait time is 12-18 months. But, I was just curious, who are these waiting children (any or all of them - not just these two girls). But then I happened upon them, these two. And it all just started falling into place.

I think I've posted about it here once already. But nothing is "for sure" in international adoption. So until we have the girls on US soil, there are no guarantees. So we are following the path as we feel led, I have hope and peace that this path will bring these girls home to us. And so that is the journey I am on.

The path as it lays before me appears trodden under my feet. Ahead though, many trees and plants that hide the path ahead of me. I have no fear because the light at my feet shows me those steps I must take first. So, I do not care of the steps in my path that are not yet lit. It is a journey of rejuvenation.

I think I might be in a groove!