And the greatest of these...

So, we have received official notice that the girls packages have arrived in Ghana. They received them this morning and now know that a family is waiting for them.

I have some thoughts I want to share. For some you may wonder why I'd put myself through this adoption process if there are such areas of sadness and worry. Please note that these are just my thoughts and observations, I am not looking for sympathy - not for myself. But I am trying to empathize and understand the complexity.

First off, I see two sides the the adoption coin. One side says that there is a birth family, somewhere, who is sad that they are no longer joined with this part of their family. They were forced to make very difficult decisions about the future and the best interest of these children. Sad, I am sure, at their own loss. Sad, that they had to say good-bye. Yet maybe, just maybe a glimpse of peace and hope about the future of these children. For me happiness and excitement to grow our family, to learn to love and be loved in another exciting way. Yet sad. Sad for the loss of the birth family, said for the loss the children experience. Sad to know that this morning the girls woke up to play with their friends and though happy to have a family, knowing they must say good-bye to all the people they have grown to love and trust. Today they knew what they knew, they knew about school and play and lunch and bedtime. Now, they wonder about the people in the pictures, and what America really means. Now they have a feeling that they are unsure of, one that wasn't there before.

I am not egocentric, ethnocentric or self centered enough to think that the very best place in the world for these children is with me in America. I wish I did think that. I wish that for this moment it could be as simple as handing a child candy, instant gratification. But, before I head too far down that path... what I do know is that God has a plan. And whatever that plan is, is the very best plan for these girls. In this I find peace. In this I find comfort.

I thought I had more to write today. I thought my blog post might be longer. I am experiencing such a complexity of thoughts and feelings. And many of the feelings serve as reminders that I have been down this road before. I've been here, it's quite a journey. With that I simply acknowledge the feelings, and I know that they will come and go many times over the next days and weeks. And then they will evolve and visit again in another form in the months and years ahead. But today, they can rest now, lay dormant for a while. I hope for the girls, they are jumping rope and running, and the thoughts are resting until they are done playing and having fun. And I hope when they think about it again, it will be with hope and love. And I wish that next time these feelings come to me, they come with hope and joy. In all of this there is hope and love.