How big is Love?

I have waded through so much of who I am through these adoptions. I've discovered that I am someone different now than I was when I started. Every day I am realizing who I am, or every day I am changing. Maybe I wake up a new person every day and I spend the day figuring out who I am. I guess it really doesn't matter how it works. I am different.

I have recently had many friends asking me more detailed questions about adoption (yes, many of you and I still have endless thoughts to share!). My heart is so passionate for these children, for the orphans. A common question about adoption is "Do you love them all the same, biological and adopted children?" Yes. Yes, I love them all the same... as much as anyone can totally and completely love any two people "the same". It's not a real question in some ways... If you happened to grow up in a home with two loving and caring parents, you can understand that you could love your parents "the same", but it is still different. Angelisa and Naven are both biologically "the same" and I love them "the same", but different. Different people, different needs.

At our house do this little mantra sometimes (no more than sometimes, all the time), it goes like this:
Kid: I love you.
Mom: I love you more.
Kid: I love you the most.
Mom: I love you more than the most.
Kid: I love you infinity.
Mom: I love you infinity infinities.
Kid: I love you infinity infinity infinities
Mom: I love you infinity....

Tamene is not old enough, or doesn't have enough English to play the game... but he is learning.

I love them all infinity, infinity infinities, if that is possible. I've been looking for someone willing to chat with me about being a "step-parent" or a "step-child". I think the media makes this out to be something complicated... some how less love is involved. I am curious to get some firsthand information on the subject. Mostly because the love I have for each of my children fills up my heart completely and then runs over. And my Ghana girls are no exception. Just because they are not here with me yet, doesn't mean I love them any less. I desire to hold them and protect them just the same as my babies who are here with me. I have to go back to the pregnancy analogy... many women have put their life on the line for the little baby growing inside, wouldn't we find it odd if the woman didn't care for her growing baby in her belly. We expect her to go to the doctor and to take vitamins and to eat and rest in a way that is best for her and for her baby. My girls are in Ghana and I want to protect them and nurture them. I know that they are being well cared for. The women, the aunties, at the orphanage are taking excellent care of them... but no one can care for a child like her mother. What if they are sick or tired? My little Naven with a toothache, he wanted his mommy, not the nice nurse at the school, not his teacher, he wanted his mommy.

So the girls are 6,100 miles from me. I want to care for them like they are sleeping in the next room. A cool wash cloth on a warm head. A tissue for a teary eye. A hug for a sad heart. There is nothing about 6,100 miles that makes me feel any different than a child growing in my womb, I have desperate love. I didn't know... when I started the first adoption, I didn't know I could love like this.

God is Love, we are made in His image... is there any question that we have the ability to love anyone, anywhere, but especially a child - no matter how she comes to us.